


Falling Into Darkness

by The_Scarlet_Speedster



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner, the maze runner
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Boys Kissing, Depressed Thomas, F/M, First Kiss, I'm Sorry, M/M, More angst, Newt dies, Newt is the glue, Poor Thomas, The Death Cure, The Death Cure Spoilers, Unrequited Love, newtmas - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 17:11:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13931571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Scarlet_Speedster/pseuds/The_Scarlet_Speedster
Summary: Newt has always had feelings for Thomas but he’s never admitted them.  Now that the Flare is spreading Newt’s beginning to lose the tight control he once kept over his emotions. He’s dying after all, so why deny himself?





	Falling Into Darkness

“No, there’s got to be another way,” Thomas muttered to himself, shaking his head slowly from left to right as he turned to face the people gathered around in the small makeshift meeting room. He looked at each one of them, his eyes pleading as his face wore a measured expression that carried an uneasiness not usually present. 

“Like what?” Gally questioned as he threw down the thick stack of papers he’d been holding. Maps, floor plans, and blue prints of various buildings fluttered across the wooden table. He eyed the scattered maps before gazed up at Thomas with a deadpan expression. “You’ve seen the building. She is our only way in.”

“Maybe she’d be willing to help-” Thomas tried to argue before being interrupted by Newt.

“You really think she’s going to help us?” Newt scoffed as he laced his fingers between one another, fiddling with them. Anxiety rolled off him in waves as he shook his head in disbelief. 

“I don’t plan on asking for her permission,” Gally huffed stubbornly as he crossed his muscular arms against his broad chest. Months of planning had been spent on trying to find a way into WICK’D. Gally knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that without an inside man any attempt at rescuing Minho would be pointless. They’d all end up locked in cells.

“Can I say something?” Brenda cut in, her tone tired and filled with exasperation. The hand resting on the side of her head fell as she sat up a bit straighter as if to direct more attention to herself. “This is the same girl who betrayed us, correct? Same dick?”

Gally pointed his thumb in Brenda’s direction, a smirk twitching on his lips. “I like her.”

Thomas sighed as he paced around the room. They weren’t making any progress. It seemed that he was the only one who had any reservations when it came to The Right Arm’s plan. Jorge hadn’t said anything but everyone knew that he’d side with whatever Brenda decided to along with.

The girl frowned when she saw the concern in Thomas’ eyes.

“What’s going on?” She questioned, her voice dropping the aggressive tone it’d previously held.

Thomas said nothing. He was at a loss for words, opening his mouth to speak only to shut it again. He couldn’t explain why using Teresa felt so… wrong. All he knew was that he wanted to avoid anything that involved her at all.

“What, you afraid that your little girlfriend is going to get hurt?” Newt taunted as his gaze darted between his hands and Thomas’ face.

“Hmm?” He prompted when Thomas once again did not respond.

It wasn’t that Teresa was unable to protect herself so much as the fact that Thomas was still processing the fact that she’d betrayed them. They had no reason to trust her. It seemed ridiculous that Gally even believed that Thomas could convince her to follow him anywhere.

“This has obviously never just been about rescuing Minho. Has it?” Newt’s tone grew more accusatory, his voice rising as he questioned Thomas.

“What- what are you talking about?” Thomas stammered, blinking in confusion as he focused his attention back to the matters at hand.

“Teresa. She’s the only reason Minho’s even missing in the first place,” Newt continued as he stood from his chair and took a step towards Thomas. When he stood a few feet away from him, Thomas saw that his friend’s eyes held a dark gleam that wasn’t present before- something that he couldn’t quite place.

“Now we finally have an opportunity to get him back and you don’t want to because of her?” He huffed angrily as he kept taking moving forward. With each step that Newt took Thomas took one back, taken off guard by Newt’s sudden outburst of anger and by the dangerous look in his eyes.

“Because deep down inside you still care about her, don’t you?” Newt breathed out as his face inched closer to Thomas’.

“Just admit it.”

“Newt I-” the brunette runner began to murmur as neared the wall behind him. Did he still care about her? He honestly didn’t know. He had cared deeply for her and that wasn’t something that you just got over in a week or two. 

In a burst of speed Newt closed the final distance between them, he seemed to sense what Thomas was about to say before the words ever tumbled from his mouth. His fists found purchase on Thomas’ jacket and in an instant, he shoved him roughly against the wall and trapped him there. “Don’t lie to me!”

Everyone in the room gasped as Thomas hit the wall with a loud thump, but no one said or did anything. They simply stood there and watched.

“DON’T. LIE. TO. ME,” Newt said harshly, his dark eyes boring into wide brown ones as he moved his face back from Thomas’ slowly.

Then it hit him. The darkness in Newt’s eyes. The sudden and unexplained anger. 

For a moment both boys just stood there staring at one another. Breathless.

Then after a moment of silence Newt’s expression lost its anger as he muttered “I’m sorry” while looking up at Thomas remorsefully. Then he turned to look over his shoulder at the others, who still stood there staring at him in shock, he apologized again in a steadier voice. 

“I’m sorry.”

After that Newt quietly left the room, leaving Thomas to glance between back at the group and then again at Newt's retreating form in confusion. 

“I... I’ll go talk to him,” he muttered before anyone else could question him any further. He just wanted to get away from there and try to make sense of what the shuck just happened.

*****************************************************************************************************************************************************

“Sorry about that, back there,” the blonde sighed from his perch atop the roof of the building in which they took refuge. His long legs dangled over the edge as he looked out over the crumbling city. 

Thomas said nothing, just waited for Newt to talk as he walked up behind the boy. Newt didn’t even give a second thought as to who might have approached him- he knew it was Thomas without taking so much as a glance behind him.

Newt fidgeted with his hands that rested in his lip, his fingers trembling slightly before they reached to pull up the sleeve on his right arm. “Guess I can’t hide this anymore.”

Black veins spidered across the pale skin of his forearm creating an intricate pattern of random black lines and blood vessels. Some of the larger ones protruded away from the smooth skin of Newt’s wrist, wrapping around it like wild ivy.

Thomas crouched beside his friend to get a better look. Concern filled Thomas’s eyes as Newt made a fist, the black veins bulging as he did so.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think it would make any difference,” the blonde muttered as he looked over his shoulder at Thomas, sunlight streaming through his golden hair giving it a strawberry blonde cast.

The two looked at each other in silence for a moment before Newt turned his head down to examine his wrist. “Lord knows WICKED put me in that maze for a reason. Maybe it was literally just so they could tell the difference between immunes like you and people like me.”

Thomas bit his lowwer lip, eyes still heavy with grief as he looked down upon his friend. “You know… we can still fix you. Okay? We can.”

It seemed an empty promise even as the words left his lips, but he couldn’t stop himself from trying to comfort Newt in some way. Even if it was insignificant and ultimately a lie. There was no cure. Just a serum that prolonged the spread of the virus.

“Don’t worry about me,” Newt said stubbornly as gazed up into brown eyes.

Again, Thomas felt the need to stay still and just listen.

“Did I ever tell you about… when I broke my leg?”

Thomas gave a little shake of his head. He’d always been curious about the incident but had been too afraid to ask. It seemed such a personal question that it’d felt wrong to even bring it up. Newt’s limp was simply a part of Newt- and like every other part it was something that he and the other Gladers had accepted without question. 

“It was way back in the Maze. I’d just come out of the box, just like all the other greenies. Didn’t know where I was, didn’t know who I was, y’know? Even though all my memories were gone I could still feel that something was missing. I hated that place, Tommy. I hated every second of every day. I felt empty, I just… I couldn’t like that, I couldn’t take it. So one morning, I got up early and snuck into the Maze and I went and found that tallest wall that I could- and I climbed up there and... I jumped off it.”

Thomas tried his best to hide the look of shock that crossed his face at hearing those words. Newt was… he always was the strong one. The one that everyone depended on. He never once would have considered that the Newt had attempted suicide. Thomas’ eyes began to water as he looked down at the alley ways beneath the building, unable to look his friend in the eye without being overwhelmed by emotion. 

“Of course, I got completely tangled up in all the ivy. Snapped my leg in three places like a proper shank. Landed hard on the floor. I thought that was it. Then Minho found me somehow. He picked me up and he took me back to the Glade. We never told anyone the truth about what happened. He saved me. He gave me a second chance. Now, he needs us so if there is even the slightest chance that we can save him, get him out of there, then we have to take that. No matter what the cost.”

Thomas gave a small nod. He knew that the three of them had been close, but he hadn’t realized just how close Newt and Minho had been before he’d arrived in the Glade. It made sense why his hesitation earlier had angered Newt.

“Okay. I hear you.”

Newt returned the nod with one of his own before moving to stand. Thomas followed suit, standing from his crouching position, and walking back towards the stairs that led into the building.

Just as Thomas was about to open the door and enter the dim corridor Newt stopped, pausing, and stood still like a statue. “Just… one last thing. There’s one last thing I meant to tell you.”

“Yeah?” Thomas asked, humming softly as he looked back over his shoulder.

Newt’s lips twisted into a familiar smirk and his eyes, still filled with sorrow, softened just the slightest bit. Then with one stride of his long legs Newt stood before Thomas, hand outstretched, and cupped his cheek. His other hand pushed against the ajar door and shut it, allowing him to pin Thomas to the closed door with one arm.

Thomas’s eyes searched Newt’s, uncertain of what the gesture meant. But, he didn’t need to wait long for an answer.

The hand, firm but gentle, directed his face until it was mere centimeters from Newt’s. He blinked at the foreign feeling of soft lips pressed against his own. Newt’s lips. Then he realized that this was what Newt had meant. This is what he’d wanted to tell him. 

Newt… he looked so at peace, completely lost in the kiss as his long eye lashes fluttered against his high cheekbones. For once he looked like the teenage boy he was and not some battle-hardened warrior. Thomas felt the same guilt rise up inside his chest as he had when Brenda had kissed him. The lips moving against his own… it wasn’t her. It wasn’t Teresa. And yet he couldn’t bring himself to pull away and ruin something that clearly meant so much to his dying best friend. He couldn’t take away the blissful look on the blonde’s face- the way his pale cheeks had a healthy flush to them for the first time in months. 

He’d been so focused on plotting to save Minho with The Right Arm that he’d neglected the friend that was right in front of him. How long had it been since he and Newt had really talked? A fresh wave of guilt washed over Thomas when he couldn’t recall the last time he remembered setting time aside just for them to just catch up. The little details like how pale Newt’s skin was or the ever-present dark circles under his eyes now seemed painfully obvious. Little things… but Thomas couldn’t help but wonder if they had been warning signs that his friend was sick. He wondered how Newt had gotten infected, his eyes growing glossy with unshed tears as he wondered if it because of something that Newt had done to protect him. Even if Minho was ‘the leader’ and Thomas was the ‘true leader’ Newt would always be the one that they followed. Newt was the glue that held all the broken pieces of the Gladers together. Newt would sacrifice himself without hesitation to save someone he cared for. Something like offering to accompany Thomas on a suicide mission to the last city even if it meant driving through a crank infested tunnel despite being susceptible to the Flare… That guilt was far worse than kissing someone he didn’t have romantic feelings for. 

He couldn’t bear it. Tear after tear fell from the corners of his eyes and immediately he felt Newt break the kiss. 

“Tommy…” 

“I-”

“Shhh, you don’t have to say anything,” Newt murmured softly as his thumb gently brushed over the brunette’s cheek in slow circular movements, whipping away the tears that stained them. 

Thomas let out a quiet sob as he wrapped his arms around his friend’s slender frame and pulled him into a tight embrace. There was too much to say… too many things he should have done… too much regret.

“That? That kiss was me being selfish. See I’d been wanting to do that for a while now. It just- well the timing never seemed right. I suppose I figured that I couldn’t wait any longer seeing as I’m a crank… but I didn’t mean to upset you Tommy.”

The last thing that he wanted was to make Newt feel terrible for doing something for himself for once in his life. Especially not when the boy was basically given a death sentence.

“No-no I’m not upset. Not about the kiss. It was a good kiss,” he stammered stupidly as he tried to somehow gather his thoughts. He couldn’t ever seem to find the right words.

“I suppose it was my first kiss. It’s the only kiss I can remember anyway,” Newt hummed thoughtfully as he rested his forehead against Thomas’. The tears had slowed as Newt comforted him, trying to make light of the grim situation and the inevitable fact that his sanity was slowly but surely slipping away. “Though I think we both know that you’re a klunk liar. That kiss was bloody awful.”

“I guess… it’s just a lot to take in. I mean finding out how you broke your leg and then that you’re infected. I just- jeez,” Thomas coughed as a few more tears filled his dark eyes. “I’m ruining your first kiss by crying like a stupid shank.”

Newt’s lips pursed into a thin line as he shook his head, blonde hair blowing slightly in the evening breeze. 

“You’re crying isn’t what ruined the kiss. More like the fact that it felt like you were saying goodbye. I’m still here,” he murmured softly.

“I know. I know Newt, I just-”

“You just keep blaming yourself. I got infected because I’m not immune. That’s not something you or I have any control of. It does no good to worry about things that we can’t change,” the blonde sighed as he snuggled closer to Thomas, enjoying the warmth of their bodies touching one another.

“I don’t want your only memory of a kiss to be so depressing,” the runner frowned as he tilted his chin up so that he could look into Newt’s eyes.

“Then kiss me properly this time,” the blonde breathed out softly as he slowly lowered his face towards the boy whom he’d loved since the greenie had rushed into the Maze thinking he could save Minho and Alby. And he had. He’d saved them all countless times. 

The sun cast long shadows along the buildings as it dipped below the horizon line, shading the planes of Newt’s face, and somehow making the angles even sharper. Newt’s pink lips were parted slightly, inviting Thomas to press his own against them. Even though he wasn’t in love with his best friend Thomas had to admit that Newt had an ethereal beauty about him. He did love him… and it was because of that love that he was willing to give Newt whatever he desired.

So in that fleeting moment Thomas crashed his lips into Newt’s, holding nothing back as their mouths explored one another and Newt’s fingers curled in his hair. He poured every ounce of love that he possibly could into showing Newt that he wasn’t alone. It wasn’t the kind of kiss that made his cheeks flush or his pulse race but it still took his breath away. Newt smiled against Thomas’ lips, breathing heavily as their lips parted. 

“Now THAT was a first kiss.”

***************************************************************************************************************************************************** 

“Shut up! Just shut up! I trusted you,” Newt screamed, black blood dribbling down his lips as he looked up at Thomas with wild, unfocused eyes. “Now do it!”

“I can’t,” Thomas whispered as he stumbled backwards in the abandoned parking garage. 

“Do it!” 

Newt lunged forward with the knife again, slashing at the space that Thomas had just stood mere seconds ago.

“I can’t!” 

Thomas’s eyes were clouded with pain as he continued to back away. He couldn’t kill his best friend. He couldn’t kill Newt. He couldn’t…

“Kill me or I’ll kill you. Kill me!” 

In a sudden burst of speed the taller boy launched himself at Thomas, an inhuman growl tearing itself from his throat as he pinned the writhing boy to the ground and knocked the breath out of him. “Do it!”

“Newt…” he choked out as his friend reached for the gun that Thomas had tossed aside earlier. The knife that Newt had been wielding clattered to the rough pavement as he exchanged the weapon for one far more deadly.

Glossy black eyes bore into his, searing into his very soul and leaving nothing but agony. The cold metal of the gun was shoved into his hand, Newt’s long fingers wrapping around Thomas’ wrist in an inescapable grip. Then Newt directed Thomas’ hand until the gun rested against his own forehead.

“Do it before I become one of them!”

Tears steamed down Thomas’s face as he shook his head in stubborn refusal.

“KILL ME! If you’ve ever been my friend, kill me.”

And then the blackness in Newt’s eyes cleared, returning to their soft brown color as if he’d gained one last trembling gasp of sanity. His voice softened then as his free hand reached up and stroked Thomas’ cheek much as he had hours earlier.

“Please, Tommy, please.”

With his heart falling into the darkness of the black abyss that slowly swallowed him, Thomas pulled the trigger.


End file.
